Now I have seen everything: Annual April Fools' Day Parade

New York, New York, February 22, 2014 -- The 29th Annual April Fools' Day Parade will begin at Fifth Avenue and 59th Street at 12 noon, Tuesday, April 1, 2014. Rain or shine, the parade will march down Fifth Avenue to Washington Square Park for the climactic selection of the King of Fools from the costumed marching look-alikes.

The New York April Fools' Day Parade was created in 1986 to remedy a glaring omission in the long list of New York's ethnic and holiday parades. These events fail to recognize the importance of April 1st, the day designated to commemorate the folly of mankind. In an attempt to bridge this gap and bring people back in touch with their inherent foolishness, the parade annually crowns a King or Queen of Fools from parading look-alikes.

The theme for this year's parade is "Everybody Must Get Stoned." The parade blasts off with Bob Dylan's hit song by the same name sung by the U.S. Congress Marching Band. Grand Marshall Barack Obama marches toward the ever moving "red line." He will be joined by Toronto Mayor Rob Ford trying to march unassisted. Color commentary will be provided by Dennis Rodman.

The first float will be the U.S. Land-Based Nuclear Missile float with all participants either stoned or sleeping. This will be followed by President Ken Hamm with his Creationist Museum Flintstone float featuring Barney & Wilma and Dino the Dinosaur. Then comes the Westboro Baptist float. Bystanders beware: the Baptists misunderstood the theme of the parade and will be stoning other marchers and spectators. Then there will be a Commercial Airplane float looking for the right place to land. Mike Huckabee's Vagina float will provide educational material on the physical and political function of the vagina. Pushing the limits of float size this year will be the Discovery Channel's Megaladon Monster Shark float, which will explain any peculiar parade odors. Expect an intentional gridlock at 34th Street and 5th Avenue as New Jersey Governor Chris Christie supporters slowly make their way cross town to the Lincoln Tunnel.

Marching celebrity look-alikes will include the shirtless Russian President Vladimir Putin shouting anti-gay slurs; Carlos Danger, a.k.a. Anthony Weiner texting selfies; Fox News's Megyn Kelly shouting "Santa is white. So is Jesus. Just get over it!" while San Diego Mayor Bob Filner tries to cop a feel and a kiss. Also see weathercaster Al Roker pitching his new Depends line to a twerking Miley Cyrus; Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson quoting from his duck bible; celebrity chef Paula Deen with her mouth taped shut; and Geraldo Rivera and Arizona's Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio teaming up to find suspicious-looking people wearing hoodies or carrying backpacks. Bringing up the rear will be the 2013 King of Fools Ted Cruz shouting, "Shut it down, shut it down!".

As the parade enters Washington Square Park, the festivities will begin. Food concessions will include a salmonella-infected chicken tasting; 10 million pounds of McDonald's mighty wings; recalled Chobani GM yogurt; and lab-cloned hamburgers. All will have caffeine added to provide an energy boost to speed your way to the hospital. There will also be a Fukushima glow-in-the-dark sushi bar. Beyond food concessions, there will be an NSA Booth, manned by Dir. of National Intelligence James R. Clapper, where you can get free transcripts of your important phone calls and emails; a Get-your-Measles-Here booth courtesy of Televangelist Kenneth Copland; and a Target Customer Service booth where you can reclaim your identity. Come prepared with your Social Security and PIN numbers. The Obamacare Sign-up booth will be temporarily down.

This year's parade will be televised live by Fox News. London's recently extracted 15-ton Monster Blob sewage of congealed fat and baby wipes will be rolled down 5th Avenue to clean up after the parade, then ceremoniously set aflame.

The public is encouraged to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route. Floats can be no wider than 10' and no longer than 30'. They can be self-propelled, towed, pushed or pulled. Customized bicycles, tricycles, baby carriages and aerial balloons are welcome. All participants are costumed look-alikes, and the Parade Committee assumes no liability for damages caused by satire. Parade floats and marchers must be at 59th Street and Fifth Ave no later than 11:30 a.m..

We are grateful for the generous support of billionaires Sheldon Adelson and the Koch Brothers and for an Anonymous donation of Bitcoins. Free food and drinks, plus luxury hotel room gift certificates will be provided by the IRS.

The King of Fools will be chosen based on the loudest cheers at Washington Square Park. The winner will reign through March 31, 2015.

Freebies and the Brooklyn Baaaaaaazaaaaar, and RSVP for Science cafe next wed!

FIRST FRIDAYS! 7TH ANNUAL COLLABORATION WITH THE HAVANA FILM FESTIVAL NEW YORK
Friday, March 28, 6pm to 10pm Free Admission and bar (donations suggested)Kicking off the 15th Annual Havana Film Festival New York, The Bronx Museum will host a screening of Los 100 sones de Cuba/The 100 Cuban Sones, followed by a special performance by Yunior Terry y Son de Altura. Music by DJ ASHO.

Free coffee in Mac Donals: From March 31 through April 13, people can stop by participating McDonald’s during breakfast hours for a free small McCafe coffee.

free opening receptions:
- group show: ‘stroke: from under the mattress to the museum wall’ @ the leslie-lohman museum of gay and lesbian art (soho, thru 5/25) >>
- maick sidibé prints from the 1960s-1980s @ jack shainman gallery (chelsea, thru 4/26) >>


7pm-1am (fri-sat, ongoing): the weekly brooklyn night bazaar night market brings bands, food, breweries + wineries, vendors, light installations, and mini golf, ping pong + skeeball to a 24,000 sq ft warehouse. this week's music comes from rubblebucket, nasimiu, toy soldiers, lyle divinsky, darwin deez, ballroom thieves, king holiday and such hounds. 165 banker st @ norman ave (greenpoint), free admission

SciCafe: The Evolution of Irrationality—Insights from Primates. American Museum of Natural History. park west and 77 th st
Wednesday, April 2 | Doors open at 6:30; program at 7 pm

Yale University comparative psychologist Laurie Santos explores the roots of human irrationality by watching the way our primate relatives come to decisions, and explains her recent experiments in "monkeynomics," the ways monkeys make "financial" choices.

WEEKEND

11am line up, 12pm start: all hail kale! veggies get their green on at the seventh annual veggie pride parade. starts at 9th ave + gansevoort st., ends in union square for a post-parade rally/expo and costume contest. free. >>

1:45pm: the annual greek independence day parade makes its way up fifth ave. from 64th st. to 79th st.

Afterwork free networking events

This coming Wednesday at Monarch and you haven't RSVPed, yet! Enjoy with us the unique scenery from this magical lounge!

To complete the experience, we�ll offer appetizers and a complimentary glass of Champagne from 7pm to 9pm for our guests who forwarded and shared our Facebook event. A limo service is offered to group of 10 Ladies: contact sam@samnjo.com for more info.

Where: 71 W 35th St
When: Wednesday, March 26th - starts 7:00pm
Dress Code: AfterWork

RSVP mandatory on samnjo.com and check attend to the Facebook event .

Sam n' Jo
We make New York happen

Sense to Synapse 2014 registration is open

Sense to Synapse 2014 registration is open

“Sense to Synapse 2014” mini-symposium will be held on Saturday, April 26th 2014, at Washington Square NYU Campus. Keynote speakers for the event include: Jonathan Demb (Yale), Jose Pena (Albert Einstein), Ofer Tchernichovski (Hunter College), Fred Sachs (Buffalo) and Glenn Turner (CSHL). The key-note lectures will be complemented with 8 short talks by postdocs and young faculty. This is an excellent opportunity for junior scientists to present their work to the experts in the field, as well as to the attending editors of renowned journals.

The success of the previous editions prompted "Sense to Synapse" to become an annual event, and we are happy to announce that the registration for this year's edition is open:

Abstract submission deadline is 31st March
Registration deadline is 18th April

For more information, to register, and to submit an abstract, please visit :http://sense2synapse.com/

Saturday update with Petyly Strong

Vans and the ASPCA are teaming up to host a special pet adoption event on Saturday, March 22, from 1:00 to 4:00 P.M. The event, which will be held at the House of Vans at 25 Franklin Street in Greenpoint, Brooklyn, will feature adoptable dogs and cats from the ASPCA Adoption Center and Animal Care & Control of New York City. We’ll also have food trucks, gifts and an interactive photo booth on site. Two-legged guests of all ages are welcome to attend!

Beginning at 11 A.M. on Saturday, March 22nd, 2014, Gastronomie 491, market and café, will celebrate two years of proudly serving the Upper West Side community with live music, free prizes, and a variety of new items for customers to sample. Live music will be provided by jazz group, Manhattan Vibes, and many of the store’s favorite producers, including Brooklyn Brewery, illy coffee and Broadway Baker, will be showcasing a few of their latest products. Gastronomie 491 will also be holding a drawing where loyal customers will have a chance to win a brand new cappuccino cup set! To round out their festivities, complimentary Mediterranean tapas and sweets will be served.Gastronomie 491, located at 491 Columbus Avenue in New York, NY, is a Mediterranean-inspired market and café with a curated selection of craft beers, artisanal cheeses, and imported groceries.

thru 4/6: wander not amongst beautiful clothes but beautiful flowers at the annual macy's flower show, where trees, flowers, and plants of many kinds will be on display. free admission

Check out today the beautiful Frick collection ( tip: some of the art pieces were originally propriety of JP Morgan,check out his event above!)
6-9pm: the Frick collection, 5th av and 72nd st. opens its doors for free after hours tonight for gallery talks, live music and general wandering around. normally $20 or pay-what-you-wish sundays 11am-1pm.

JP Morgan library in madison and 35 st, open for free after 6 pm with an amazing "little prince" drawing and stories :)

Awesome holocenter in LIC

http://www.holocenter.org/
Visit the Holocenter

We are open to the public every Saturday 2-6pm
with additional opening hours for exhibitions and events:
during Uncertain Worlds (March 7 – May 3) we will be open Fridays and Saturdays 2-6pm

Free entry (donations always appreciated)

The gallery is located in the lobby and vault of the Clock Tower in LIC
29-27 41st Ave • cnr of Queens Plaza North and Northern Blvd.
Long Island City, NY 11101 Map

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